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Last week, I found myself at Cafe Gratitude in Los Angeles, eating a gluten-free scone and fuming about gender, as one does in Life is more free now. Lori sipped her green juice and rolled her eyes. Claire admitted that this was not a bucket-list moment for her. I never thought this would be part of my life story, but here I am. I could never go back from this. She liked it far more than she expected to.

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Ten inches? Can I sit across the room from you and make you come? This made sense to me. If the point of sex is to create intimacy and to give and receive pleasure, then why restrict yourself from something that feels good just because of the patriarchy or whatever?

But a butch woman will often want to be subjugated sexually because she has to armor herself in the world so much. She has to be tough, just like a man does.

Speaking of femme tops, I told them about Claire and her pegging saga, which incited a literal round of applause. It feels like a tongue flick, and it always makes me come ridiculously quickly.

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Let's just get your lube and get out. This isn't your average sex shop, and one of the owners, Jack Lamon, isn't your average sex-shop employee.

He is wonderfully knowledgeable about every toy, massage oil, lube, harness and DVD in the place.

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He's approachable and funny and talks about sex toys in a brainy, philosophical fashion. He says he's seen hundreds of customers that have had your same problem: Either women stash their vibrator away from their partner or the husband is jealous of the toy. They immediately think of the black, inch, vibrating dildo.

But what about the possibility of women replacing men with these items, circa Charlotte in Sex and the City becoming bed-ridden with her "rabbit. There's no replacing human contact, human intimacy. He explains that having sex with your husband is like eating the same meal every single day, so you want to shake it up.

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Sounds like his issue is being excluded - include him in the fun, I think he'll be pleasantly surprised. You have to be willing to share and show him your vibrator isn't a substitute, but an aid.

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Lamon recommends taking your husband with you on a shopping trip, or better yet, giving him the challenge of buying a toy for you. But be sure your husband knows your favourite colours: "If you hate green and he gets you a green toy, you're going to hate it, no matter what.

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Then I see it: the holy grail of sex toys, a shimmering display of the best of the best: the Lelo showcase. A slick floor-to-ceiling exhibit of chrome and black and purple toys with the design simplicity of an iPad.

"People who are threatened by sex toys generally have a very traditional idea of what sex toys are. They immediately think of the black, inch, vibrating dildo."Estimated Reading Time: 7 mins But a strap-on is just for the woman's pleasure. The dildo doesn't need to be satisfied.". "That's true," Lori agreed. "Dildos are not demanding at all.". "It's just a hands As a lesbian-identified woman, I hate penis-shaped vibrators, so the non-phallic shape of this is why I bought it in the first place. The best way to describe the sensation is that it feels like Estimated Reading Time: 5 mins

Luxury, modern, multiple speed, rechargeable - top. He leaves me alone for a minute to peruse the selection and I have to admit: I'm reformed.

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I've always loved gadgets and I can't see how this wouldn't make sex more fun. In mere moments, I have four vibrating penises in my hand that I can't figure out how to turn off. One wiggles out of my hand, and gyrates across the floor. Thankfully, I've caught it by the time Lamon returns, who hasn't seen my display or is nice enough to ignore me.

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Lamon explains that the most popular of these toys, the Tiani, will be right up your, um, alley. It's a C-shaped vibrator, where one end is inserted during sex.

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It sounds awkward, but trust me: One look and I can see the appeal. The best part?

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It's remote-controlled - your husband will find a lot of power and manly man-ness in being the one in the driver's seat. Ultimately, you have to explain to your husband that you love sex with him.

Reassure him that nothing can replace his manhood.

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But like most things, sex becomes way more interesting when you add a little technology to the mix. This is a space where subscribers can engage with each other and Globe staff.

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This Post Has 1 Comments

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